Somewhere on the Road Between Burnout and Better
What last year took from me and what it quietly gave back
4 min read
Last year was hard.
It wasn’t a loud, get-down-and-duck-for-cover kind of hard, but it was definitely not what I drew up for my 2025. It was a hard that just sort of crept in over time. Work started to feel heavier than it used to. Things that once gave me energy started to drain it. Even the few wins we had felt muted.
I started asking questions I hadn't asked in a while. Do I still want to do this? Is it still worth it? Or am I just moving forward because I don't know what else to do?
I've been running GoodFolks for close to ten years now, which still feels a little weird to say out loud. For most of that time, the work's been pretty tangled up with how I see myself. The responsibility, the pressure to keep things moving, the belief that if I just kept my hands on everything I could keep it all headed in the right direction. Somewhere along the way, I started gripping the shit out of it. Controlling what I could, white-knuckling what I couldn't, and telling myself that's just what it takes.
Last year didn't let me keep doing that.
There were a few pops of realization here and there, but mostly it was just a slow, uncomfortable awareness that something had to change. I had to step back and get honest about what was actually mine to carry and what I'd just been picking up out of habit or fear. That definitely didn't fix everything, but it gave me room to breathe. Somewhere in that process, I started to remember that my worth isn't tied to how work's going or how many things I can keep spinning at once. And if I’m being honest, I think I needed that more than I realized.
So when GoodFolks turned eight last week (really ten if you count from when I started moonlighting nights & weekends), I almost didn't stop long enough to realize it. It came and went pretty quietly. Just a normal Wednesday with all the usual chaos. That night, my girls sang happy birthday to GoodFolks, which was sweet and a little unexpected. It was one of those small moments that slows you down just enough to notice what’s right in front of you.
My girls celebrating GoodFolks turning 8 with a little candle and cake
After the girls went to bed, my wife and I sat and talked for a while about those early days. She reminded me of things I'd completely forgotten and filled in gaps I didn't even know were there. It was funny remembering the late nights, projects that went really well and some that didn't, relationships that have lasted and some that haven't. Seasons where everything clicked and seasons where we were just trying to keep our heads above water.
It hit me at some point in that conversation that this was never just mine. She was in it from the beginning, holding things up in ways I probably didn't acknowledge enough back then and definitely don't say enough now.
Adios for now.